Written Sept 13, 2016.
Your you evolves. A concept perhaps we should all embrace.
Most of my life I have called myself a mountain girl. My favorite place: the forest. I love mountain biking, camping, meandering through the mountains. I have hugged trees, kissed the forest floor, breathed deeply the spirit of the mountains, and felt in touch with my inner being when deep in them. I have called them my church, and sought the mountains to solve life’s problems and ponder mysteries. The mountains were, for so many years, a source of healing and grounding.
My family and I have recently moved to the city. I have yearned for the city for about a decade, and finally, we were able to make a move from the mountain town existence I have known for 27 years, to a big, broad, unknown world. A world in which I feel at home, as if I’m finally home. A drastic difference in lifestyle.
I came back to the mountains yesterday, and meandering through them didn’t feel the same. My me has evolved. My me has changed. My deepest me isn’t the same as it was fifteen years ago.
Your you changes.
Where the smells of leaves, dirt, fresh earth once satisfied, now the smell of bus exhaust. Where the gentle sounds of birds and wind through trees once sang to me, now the sounds of traffic, people, construction beeping.
I know that I like change. I know that I like diversity. I detest monotony. But, does that mean that my deepest self can change from deeply loving mountains that satisfy to the core of my being, to feeling that way about city life?
Have I lost my love of the mountains? Na! Maybe I just needed a break from all of the peace and quiet and beauty. 🙂 Will the city satisfy for a lifetime, or will I grow tired of the noise, the grime, the pace?
The only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t know. And I like that I don’t know. What if I was so glued to a label of myself, an image, a persona, that I refused to consider other sides of me. What if I had refused to let go of being a “mountain girl”? I would not have sensed the desire for new adventures. I would not have seeked new horizons. I would not know the perfume of city streets, the smiles offered by homeless folks as I pass, and the culture and art that challenge my senses.